You spend considerable time and effort networking. You think you are doing it all right. You understand the 20/80 rule, and you focus your time and energies on the 20% of connections that get you 80% of your business. Your ‘elevator pitch’ has perfect pitch. You go to all the right functions to see and be seen.
But something’s not right.
Despite all your efforts, you just can’t quite seem to make those connections stick. You meet the right people and say the right things, but your book of business isn’t growing. Why?
Here are 11 things that you might be doing to terminate any relationship you start. These are the silent relationship-killers that undermine even the most relentless networking efforts. They are deadly because in most cases, they are the kinds of things that will cause people to quietly walk away without ever telling you why.
- You send mixed messages. Words convey less than 20% of the content in a conversation. Body language and vocal inflection carry the other 80%. When you cross your arms, drum your fingers, constantly look away, check your phone, lean back, etc. you are telling the person they don’t matter that much, regardless of what your words say. Great listening is a contact sport. If you aren’t tired after a focused conversation you aren’t really engaging.
- You dress like we don’t matter. Dress is another form of nonverbal communication. Every industry and community has its norms, so a suit on a fishing boat, or Stanfields (look it up if you’re not Canadian!) in the boardroom, don’t work. That said, dress also speaks to us as individuals. Over-dress and you are broadcasting that you are clueless about the environment you are in. Dress too casually, and the message is that you are either clueless or don’t care. Neither is good. Dress for the clients and customers you want. Dress with intention.
- You don’t follow up. When you don’t follow up, you are letting us know that, outside of our monetary value, we don’t really matter. When you don’t return calls or messages, you go one step further and tell us you don’t even want our business.
- You use poorly designed forms & you can’t spell. Poor design in your documentation tells us that you don’t get how we think, or how we want our information. Misspell our name, or the name of our company, and you tell us you don’t care, regardless of what you say in the rest of the document. Make that mistake in an initial pitch or communication, and you are almost guaranteeing we’ll never do business.
- You don’t show up when you say you will. If you are consistently late, or don’t even show up at all, you are letting us know that there are more important things for you to be doing. We get the message.
- You fudge the truth; especially about your services or products. That one is a double whammy. Not only will we be angry with you for the misrepresentation, we feel personally insulted because you assume we aren’t smart enough to figure it out.
- You tell us again how great you are. When you over-stress a particular quality about yourself, a sophisticated listener will always assume the opposite. If you constantly repeat what a detail-oriented person you are we assume your desk is probably a mess. You only sound like you are trying to convince yourself, and you are not convincing us.
- You let the tumbleweeds blow through your web site. Have old content on your site, or old copyright dates, and we wonder how current and successful you are.
- You tell us how busy you are. How many times have you told people how incredibly busy you are when they ask how things are going? How likely do you think we are to refer an important client to you when all we hear is that you are just barely managing to stay on top of your work load? If you’re that busy, you don’t have time to take good care of the people I want to send your way.
- You wake up in the morning not loving it. If you aren’t really loving what you’re doing, we are going to pick up on that. Few things are more attractive than passion, and few things repel more than misery. If you don’t love what you’re doing, get out. If you don’t, your customers will pick up your dissatisfaction. If you’re trying to sell us something you don’t really care about, the message we get is that you don’t really care about us either.
- You don’t do your homework. If you haven’t taken the time to find out something about us if the chance presented itself, the message is that we’re not worth the effort. Also, your communication will be designed around what you want to say, not around what we want to hear. Find out what matters to us, or you will send the message we don’t matter to you.
Great networking skills are tough to acquire. They require a love of people, a love of what you do, and a great deal of practice. But none of that matters if during and after a first meeting you send signals that contradict your pitch and your print materials.
The greater the distance between your initial pitch and what you actually deliver, the greater the damage. Few things turn customers off more than raised expectations unmet.
So learn to listen, pay attention, tell the truth, follow through, and take the time to get to know us. Loyal customers are won not by what you promise, but by what you deliver.
Want to improve your communication with employees,partners,and customers? I help organizations improve communication through social media strategies and management-level workshops. When it comes to business and social media,Twitter has become the ‘difference maker’ Try my online 6-day Twitter BootCamp.
